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House review of The Cottage (2008)

“You just don’t go wandering, that’s my advice to you my lad”


Contemporary British film makers can be an uninspired, risk averse lot. As soon as any British film makes it big, we're treated to a bunch of clones for years to come. 'Four Weddings & a Funeral' hits it big, so we're subjected to middle class romantic comedies (preferably with a foppish Hugh Grant and a token American stars to help make it marketable stateside) for a decade (Notting Hill, Bridget Jones Diary, Love Actually). 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' bags a load of loot at the box office and once again we're assaulted by 'geezers' criminal escapades for the next few years (Snatch, Layer Cake, The Business, Gangster No.1, Sexy Beast).

So when 'Shaun of the Dead' made it's mark a few years back, an onslaught of British horror-comedies going into production was inevitable (Severance, Lesbian Vampire Killers, Creep). But while making a horror- comedy might not have been the most inspired decision, nobody can accuse director Paul Andrew Williams of not taking risks. After the huge critical success of his gritty drama, 'London to Brighton' Williams was widely viewed as the spiritual heir to Mike Leigh. Shunning the high brow critics that revered his debut film, Williams opted to make something most of his fans would balk at; a ‘slasher’ movie.

Things go badly for lowly thug David (Andy Serkis) and his dour, put upon brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) when they kidnap, Tracy (Jennifer Ellison) the psychotic daughter of a gangster and hold her hostage in a cottage in the remote country side. Apart from the pair of Korean hitmen/chef’s (who inexplicably, but entertainingly speak broken English to each other), who track them to their remote hideout; David and Peter incur the wrath of the local mass murdering farmer when they unwittingly trespass on his land.

While the story is of the standard ‘cabin in the woods’ horror variety, Williams has introduced some nice twists to keep it interesting. Casting accomplished character actors rather than airbrushed, photogenic twenty-something’s (with the exception of Ellison) in the lead roles, Serkis and Shearsmith make an excellent odd couple double act. However it is Ellison who proves the greatest surprise, as a mouthy, ‘chav’ hellcat, who eggs on the farmer to murder someone she doesn’t like. While Ellison is busy physically and verbally abusing everyone within range, in an inspired touch it’s left to Shearsmith to play the ‘scream-queen’ which he does with gusto.

For me, the biggest problem with the movie is the monster. Seen in the daylight, he looks frankly odd, rather than ominous. Maybe it’s because I grew up on a farm, or maybe it’s that none of my fathers accidents with heavy machinery ever granted him super human strength, but the concept of ‘Franken-farmer’ wouldn’t put me off a jaunt in the countryside.

So while it doesn’t work terribly well as a horror, there is enough great jet black comedy that will keep most audiences (with a high gore tolerance) entertained. As for director Williams, while it would be easy for him to return to gritty drama, let’s hope he continues to take risks, just more inspired ones.

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Film Rating: 5.1/10 (13 votes cast)

Reviewed by Murphy
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